#sometimes i read a gm from hell story and im like honestly you guys are lucky your gm didnt shoot you with a real gun for that

[elftwink]

my toxic trait is that i can't listen to those "GM/DM from hell" ttrpg horror stories because i almost always agree with the GM even if they're being extremely unreasonable because at least 80% of the time it's immediately obvious that the entire table is trash and the GM put up with it for a saintly amount of time before snapping and now the players have to crawl to reddit to be validated, where they will be validated because any GM who wont take a bullet for their players and then suck their dick is lazy and selfish, obviously!!

for example one "unreasonable" rule ive seen floating around abt dnd is "you have to act out all charisma checks" and look. i am aware at least some DMs with this rule are trying to be the next Matt Mercer and want you to play the part of the next Sam Riegel, damn your comfort and either of your skill levels and capabilities. this should obviously be addressed with exactly what the DM expects and why; after all, they don't make you do a backflip for an acrobatics check

BUT. but. imagine, if you will. you're the DM. your players come to a tavern. you describe a bunch of NPCs and wait for players to instigate roleplay. one of them rolls a die without asking you and then says "I want to seduce the innkeeper. I rolled an 18"

"ok," you say, (even though they should have just said what they did and waited for you to ask them for a skill check) because you're a good DM and you roll with the punches, "cool. what do you say to her?"

"uhm. I rolled an 18."

"ok yeah but what do you say. like what happens. what do you want the outcome to be"

"im seducing her. I rolled to seduce. I got 18"

"okay I know— you know seduction is not a skill right? whatever. what happens?"

"I dunno, you're the DM. I rolled an 18 though"

you now have a couple choices. you can continue trying to coax this player into roleplay, and risk the table think you are denying them the success of the roll (a roll you didnt even ask them to make), or you can sigh and say "okay fine. you seduce the innkeeper. you retreat to your quarters after dinner" even though this isn't fun for you and is barely fun for anyone else, including the player in question who stopped caring about the specifics the second they saw a high roll.

NOW imagine this happens several times a session, at least.

this is a fairly common occurrence at most tables, mostly due to lack of skill and comfort with roleplay, but it can happen to anyone who just isnt feeling 100% that day for any reason. im extremely fortunate to have DMed at tables where prompts like "and what do you say" actually do kick-start roleplay, and when it doesn't we're all comfortable enough to take a pause and try to figure out what we want from the scene, if anything. some sessions may be full on dialogue and others just quick narration depending on what the party wants to focus on and if they feel like getting into roleplay that day. & because I know what my players want, it's way easier to nudge them in that direction, and I don't get any resistance because we understand we share a common goal.

but if this were to happen at my table frequently when I was less experienced, with players who internalize the players vs DM antagonism rife in so many dnd spaces, where my attempts to direct the game were belittled or ignored but also where every single player had to be fucking micromanaged in order to keep the game rolling... i also might deal with this by putting my foot down and saying "if you don't roleplay a charisma check, you do not get to make a roll". to me this is not rules tyranny. this is a desperate attempt to get players to actually play the fucking game with you rather than chat and fuck around at your expense, wasting your time and all the time you spent prepping. & that is why, your Honor, my client pleads NOT GUILTY!!! and furthermore the defense would like to state that this whole case is projection on the part of the plaintiffs and should have been thrown out long before getting to court.

(i will say. if you're a DM and you find yourself making extremely specific, borderline unreasonable house rules to deal with your party's antics, especially if the impact is to just make them use the RAW, you need to find a new table. yes even if you're friends. doubly so actually. your friendship will survive you quitting DMing for them. it may not survive the blowout fight you'll end up having if you continue trying to pretend that shit doesn't bother you.)

[answrs]

long ramble about good finds! and also burned out question about a cougar skull in ohio and rant at the bottom. i have slept 5 hours total in the past 2 days. ple.as.e do n.ot r.ebl.og this.

so went to this reenactment thing with grandparents down in the middle of fuck-all nowhere in inch deep mud. but right a few booths in comes this majestic, extensive fur and pelt stall. was just gonna look at the prices and laugh at the huge overpricing on things like tail keychains (and i did, seriously, 25$ for a scrappy coon tail? pff) but. then there were these racks and racks of pelts and. the prices were all actually really good? for nice wallhangers? and tons of them? like 10 different morphs/wild and ranch foxes (side note like I knew kit foxes were small but never -that- small i mean holy shit.) (also some of those ranch guys were as large as the coyotes wtf. they had a ranch arctic/white next to a wild and !!!!!! it was nearly taller than me and just, well, !!!!!!), bobcats, coyotes, badgers, coons, beavers, ringtails, etc etc. even a wolverine with full set of claws! (and what was either the sorriest sized, furred, and colored wolf, or just a random coyote they stuck a big sticker on, but ehh.) then going up to the actual booth to pay they have a little collection of skulls on top of everything too!

basically what I'm saying is I got 3 of my dream collection goals (or partials, in the case of the skulls, but shush) for less than what a single one of them would run me elsewhere.

except.

i just... don't feel anything? like i should be at least happy-ish? but i just don't? like i know im in a bad state rn but like even at the (smoke. smoke EVERYWHERE. idfc about historical accuracy when almost every single one of 100-ish tents has their own big smoker/fire going) fest i was like, not dancing per say, when i fell in love with the most beautiful cross fox and had him all nice and bagged up, but def pretty happy.

maybe it's because when I went back to nab those skulls they were really, and i mean really, pushing me to buy the other i was looking at. that they were adamantly calling a bear. like i literally had them next to each other and they looked absolutely nothing alike. but "yes it is, the nose just... broke off! it's a bear! totally!". i should have really taken it as a warning when all three jumped on me as soon as i was "ooh, a bear and cougar skull!". but i was too excited to think about it until just this past hour. it was the only one without a species written on the tag too im now realizing. like dudes (and lady), you've all been in the business for like 30+ years each, you know what a cat looks like. or at very least can look at two skulls and say "yep, those aren't the same" (when you've been able to differentiate between like 5 broken mustelids correctly and all the others on your table)

anyway back to the story so now i have a nice fox (legal), upper bear skull (legal) (with canines too!), and a probable partial upper cougar skull that i may or may not actually be able to own (and that they have plausible deniability to have sold) (i was thinking about other species which are fine selling interstate, thought it was one (mope like, wait no you can't sell x from section ii in these states but others are fine and it isn't that species which seems is rarer) and didn't think to double check even if i did have reception there. stupid me.)

before you ask, yes I have used the vc state legal masterpost/chart, it was the first thing I went to.

from the various gov and wildlife and guides and etc i... honestly have no idea anymore. i got 4 hours of sleep last night and 2 the previous, slogging through legal-ese, even dumbed down legal-ese, is not something i can really handle anymore. it's not an ohio furbearer or anything, so the part about being able to trade in-state with ii section native animal species (if i even read that part of the regulations right) doesn't actually apply? but it's also not being imported anywhere, even just across state lines, and almost all the info i can find only relates to import/export and international border crossing (which is the same technically, but you know). (there's some sort of vague clause i dont quite understand about personal collection items sometimes being exempt from needing permits when moving out of the country. but again, not helpful). don't know if someone had it in captivity/whatever either, though with the condition it's in I doubt it

so on one hand, I might need to throw away (two thirds of) an upper skull of a dream species because i couldn't read the stupid warning signs and thought i knew the rules for it. on the other hand, it was 7$. ive paid more than that for every individually purchased skull (when you include shipping) in my collection. (not counting bulk/bundle orders, but even then...)

basically what it boils down to (hah. boiled. bc it looks professionally cleaned/whitened if it wasn't for the condition/missing sections.) im completely burned out, have been for the past month, and just. cant deal with any more of this. i cant even enjoy my dear cross (currently airing out downstairs hanging from the fan in gm and gp's living room bc of all the GODDAMN SMOKE I HAD TO CARRY IT THROUGH) bc of this, and also dreading tomorrow bc there's literally zero chance gm/gp won't tell mom abt it at the picnic thing and she's gonna be completely pissed to hell since im supposed to be selling all but my most beloved everything (even if it was technically a gift from them and i didn't buy it myself) since she's out of a job and im getting minimum wage at mine and need to take more hours but also sign up for classes and take those somehow too at the same time and also fill out all the govt paperwork to try getting me (her) help and. yeah. I'll post pics up maybe, if nothing else one of the creepy ~floating phantom~ gp saw going upstairs through the living room half asleep. phone doesn't do color justice at all so :/